Huntress of the Lens


Monday, April 2, 2012

And you thought you'd never hear from me again...

I was writing like mad, daily, before the last year happened. There are so many separate stories to tell you, and I am not feeling silenced by any desire to keep pretty pictures on the screen. The Mayans had it wrong: The world as I know it ended on 1/1/12, I mean, it's sort of close, but I could've done with one more year of happiness before it all went to shit.

I have a part in it, I'll be searching for that, but to be true, this time Little Red Riding Hood didn't triumph, the Wolf of Uncertainty tore her to bloody shreds in this version. Book's not over yet, so I can't tell you how this ends.

I can try to tell you where it began though, and that's where we should start, isn't it?

Today holds many anniversaries: Here's my phone number(s), Yes I'd like to have coffee with you. We sit in my quiet, closed shop and talk for seven hours, which seems like seven minutes, or seven days, or seven lifetimes.  He tells me a shameful secret, thinking I might decide not to procede because of his past-I only admire him for taking such a risk with honesty so early in our relationship. He says, after hours of blue on blue talking from our centers "I want to kiss you, but I don't know if it's a good idea?" I have been waiting for this moment, this kiss since he first smiled at me on February 28, months before and here it is, the kiss.

It's soft, and so respectful, and we are breathing the same air and I know I will never want to kiss another man again, that this is the one. That was six years ago today. I don't know as I'll ever have the joy that it is to be kissed by him when we both want it from the bottom of our hearts and know we're kissing our other half again. To this day I don't believe it was all a lie, look at pictures of either of our weddings. before I got really sick it was ALL real.

Happy anniversary honey, my kisses still belong to you. The beauty of a blog is that I can say things to people I know they'll never read, and pretend that I've been heard.

I have so many more stories, yet no more time this morning. I'm going to try to find my sanity through my keyboard, you in for the ride?